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So, I read a blog lately, and it was by a friend saying how her worth had been determined by her ex and how he had made her feel like she wasn’t pretty enough.

And it made me think.

You know? My ex was amazing. He had his flaws sure, and yes we didn’t work out because (mainly) he didn’t have time for me right then in his life – something he admitted to. And yes, I know that I did things wrong, and I was definitely NOT the perfect girlfriend =P and no I am not blaming him 100% for the break up, it was mostly my idea, and he saw my point, rational being that he is, and much as I had hoped that he might fight for us, he was 100% honest and said that right then, he would not be able to give me what I asked of him (which was…more than 2 phone calls a month and not to cancel on me last minute).

But you know what? He never once made me feel like I wasn’t beautiful. Like drop-dead gorgeous beautiful, and I could never understand why he felt that way, or what he saw in that. Like he could not keep his hands off me beautiful haha, which led to some other spiritual pit falls, but I mean, we’re talking about my self esteem here so shush! =P

He always made me feel beautiful. When I was gaining weight, when I stopped exercising, when I was upset about how I looked, when I looked like crap and I was stressed and everything, he always told me I was beautiful, and I knew he wasn’t just saying it. He, for whatever reason, actually believed it.

And he never told me I was dumb or not good enough. He always tried to help me with stuff, even when I was terrible and like “I JUST DON’T GET IT! LEARN IT AND TEACH ME PLEEEEEASE!” (he’s insanely smart, and I wasn’t as bitchy when I said it, promise =P) I felt like I wasn’t good enough sometimes, but when I told him that was how I felt, he always apologized, and thus we would enter the cycle that eventually led to our break up. But he never intentionally hurt me, and he always went out of his way to build me up.

And I’m thankful for that.

All the men in my life have been that way actually – my dad, my brothers, my ex, my guy friends…they have all also been honest with me, but I’m pretty realistic when it comes to these things too. No, I’m not drop dead gorgeous, no I’m not the hottest or sexiest women alive, but I’m most definitely not the ugliest either =P

Looking at some of my other friends’ relationships, I could have ended up a lot worst, but my ex was pretty awesome. We broke up still loving each other – and that was hard, for both of us.

So yes, to the wonderful boy that you are, I hope you are happy. And I know that whoever you end up, will be one very lucky girl.